When I bring up my dietary preferences I typically get uninvited comments on my body shape and the suggestion that I don’t need to put much thought into my diet. If only everyone could understand that diet has such a deeper purpose than body image. Discussions about diet are often full of unconscious egotism. The typical conversation always sparks a comment of vanity and self-worth. I recognize that this is simply social programming. For so many generations, we have been taught that diet is important to our body image and a sensitive topic we must address emotionally. I find this approach to be very unhealthy. My intention with the words to follow is to express that focusing our diet around vanity is a missed opportunity in understanding our sacredness and living life fully.
(Old post from Sept. 2018 I feel important to share)
Three months into our road trip, I didn’t feel like I had anything inspiring to share. In fact, I was feeling a bit unfulfilled deep inside and it bothered me. I now realize that there was something in the way that I was holding on to very tightly. Something so personal, my nerves quiver at the idea of sharing this publically. Nevertheless, I believe vulnerability is essential to a community and lacking in our society. So here’s mine...
Flashing back on three decades of growing up, I think of all the strife that taught me to find harmony and allowed me to grow as an independent, driven person. The bitter years of my childhood motivated me to be my best so that I can provide for myself. My young adulthood sparked a journey of self healing, analyzing my past relations with an interest in understanding the meaning of it all so that I can share healing with others. Along the way, I have always been blessed with angels in the hard times, encouraging me to trust the process of living life and honor the kind-hearted. I can’t say I’ve got it all figured out, but I can say that I am very confident about who I am and what I stand for. My intentions are strong and I’m moving on from challenges that linger and cause resistance.
After achieving status with the Top of Bell Rock Club, the second part of the day Saturn returned to “the same patch of sky” it was on the day of my birth exposed another precious lesson to take with me in my next steps as an adult. While visiting the Cathedral Rock vortex with my tribe it came clear to me that I have often sacrificed the pursuit of my purpose, resulting in a lack of self-respect.
Recently, for the first time in my life, Saturn returned to the same degree it was at the time of my birth. The day was full of empowering climbs at Sedona’s energetic vortices, supportive friends, and enough internal frustrations to guide the beginning of my next cycle with Saturn. I confronted mental challenges I’ve been facing throughout my life with finesse and an unexpected and refreshing sense of confidence.
My mind has been in so many places wondering where my next move should be. I've been overwhelmed with online research and reaching out to my network. There are so many places in the world, offering so many valuable lessons. My current process in making this decision involves considering the following.
An audience member at the San Francisco Ethnic Dance Festival Auditions asked a choreographer if his art was a full-time job. His answer was yes and he explained that while pursuing his dream, he was told many times to get a back up career because he couldn't live off dancing. I felt inspired and relieved when he concluded with genuine happiness by saying "I am here today."
After Saturn Returned...
...is a writing space for my attempt at facing my own fears of putting myself "out there" publicly through writing anything at all. There is no special style or topic. Just a place for me to share my thoughts without concern about attracting a specific audience. This is just me sharing my mind. It's as simple as that.